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Britain: No More Sex During Lockdown!

From the looks of things, residents of Great Britain are going to need to find themselves some new leisure activities. No more “special relationships” for you folks! The government has decided that sex is no longer allowed during the lockdown period. If they are not willing to follow the rules, the government is willing to start issuing sizable fines.

While America is currently looking for avenues to ease our way out of the lockdown, Great Britain is going in the opposite direction. They are extending their social distancing period and cracking down even more. Parliament has now forbidden any gatherings of two people or more, unless you are already living in the same house.

Having sex in your own home with someone from a different household is illegal from today, according to new legislation.

At 11.30am on Monday, a new law will be introduced to parliament which bans two people from different households in England gathering in a private place during the coronavirus lockdown.

The amendment to The Health Protection (Coronavirus, Restrictions) Bill states: “No person may participate in a gathering which takes place in a public or private place indoors, and consists of two or more persons.”

It comes as health officials warn that the lockdown is being lifted too quickly.

As many have already observed, this means that anyone who is willing to bring someone back to their home for some “fun time” is risking going against the law. If anyone who does not live with you is at your home, there is going to be hell to pay. Health officials believe that the lockdown rules are being lifted too quickly but that does not mean that citizens should be policed in this way.

It feels a bit invasive, no? The odd part is that you can still have a larger gathering (of up to six people) as long as you are outdoors. We presume that you can still have a stop and chat when you’re out and about, running your errands. How is this any safer than having a quiet conversation at home with one friend, though?

This is the sort of question that panicky government officials cannot answer. We understand why they are continuing to encourage social distancing. The virus is still running rampant and we do not have a vaccine at the present time. Caution is key but this is a bit much, if you ask us. If this country starts to have their own rebellions, you are going to know exactly why!

It’s because everyone is all pent up! Sorry, we had to. We are not also sure how this law is going to be enforced successfully. If someone has their neighbor over for a quick bite or a cup of coffee, are people going to start turning them in? One night stands have been ruled out in the meantime and workplace interactions are also going to become difficult.

Employees are going to use these new laws as an excuse to demand the ability to work from home and this should be a predictable development to anyone who pays attention. Anyone in this country who is looking to have some adult time with a companion had better be prepared to pay a 100 pound fine. The fine is sliced in half if you are able to pay within 14 days of receiving the citation.

The law seems to be aimed towards those who are feeling a bit amorous. The language about cracking down on people who stay overnight at a home that is not their own seems to be pretty clear on that. We never thought that we would see the day where it was illegal to have sex but Great Britain is here to lead the way.

Exceptions are being made but they are pretty vague at the moment. Private meetings can take place as long as you have what is known as a “reasonable” excuse. This hardly seems like an effective deterrent. Everyone is going to assume that their excuse is reasonable and this leaves the legal system with the unenviable task of having to sift through all of the complaints.

Let’s hope that all of the people who are still meeting are getting tested for COVID-19 beforehand. Will the British be willing to sit idly by and accept this law? That’s what we are wondering. It won’t be long before they are ready to riot themselves. Parliament may want to tread a bit more lightly here and give people some room to breathe….just saying.

Comments (12)

  1. ” 1984 ”

    Fining law abiding people while letting criminals off scot free.

    No social distancing at riots. How many rioters did they fine for not social distancing or wearing masks?

  2. Baaahhhaaaahhaaaaaahhhaaaaa!!!!!!

  3. Burn parliament to the ground – after all their sex scandals they try to.influence people’s. LMFAO

  4. Hysterical….The people making up this shit are not from here…..Cut off the head of the snake….

  5. Maybe they should have some riots in England I wonder who is going to be the fuck police.

  6. More scandals and riots you can’t count in Merry Old England and know no sex. Tell that to Prince Andrw

  7. Yea, good luck enforcing that- espically among Politicians!

  8. INSANE!! Working on starting another revolution, this time at home and not in the colonies?

  9. FUCK

    Fortification
    Under
    Consent of the
    King

    Its BACK

  10. and they thought the Nazis would be bad?

  11. The hilarious stupidity of government is totally visible here. The only good thing I see coming out of the set of virus stupidities is “Thanks to human nature there may be an increase in the birthrate this winter.” The birthrate may even exceed the abortion rate.

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